The Clarf Movie Ride

12 Nov

Who among us hasn’t thought about what they would put in their own Great Movie Ride? Your own personal favorite movie scenes complete with state-of-the-art Audio-Animatronics. Your favorite lines repeated every time you ride. Not just “great” movies, but the greatEST movies–according to you. This post is exactly what my ride would be–the photos are the scenes and Audio-Animatronics I imagine, any caption in quotes is the audio you’d hear, and I’ve even written some cheesy guide dialogue in italics.  So, without further ado, come take a ride on The Clarf Movie Ride!!

First let’s visit some of those great movie musicals, starting with the 1986 Frank Oz film Little Shop of Horrors starring Rick Moranis, Ellen Greene and Levi Stubbs.

Little Shop

“I’d do I-don’t-know-what to get outta Skid!”

Then on our left, we see Julie Andrews, arms outstretched…
Before that in 1952, Julie Andrews shared with us the sound of music…

sound of music

The hills go from here all the way to here.

The role of Anita in the film version of West Side Story was played by Rita Moreno, but did you know Betty Wand dubbed her singing parts?


I got you, Betty.

Be careful, folks. This place gives me the creeps.

On our left we see…


“Come on, people. Say it. SAY IT.”

And as we come around the bend, on our right is…

Beetlejuice 1988 rŽal. : Tim Burton Winona Ryder Collection Christophel

dooby doo boo dee boop boop bee dooboo doop!

Then as we come to a stop, we pick up a hitchhiker!


Pee-Wee asks us for help finding his bike and hops on alongside our guide. Then the doors open and we see…


“They’re heeeere”

Guide: Who’s here, Carol Anne?

Pee-Wee: “Here” is the Secret Word! Let’s all scream!



” It lies to her. It tells her things only a child can understand. It has been using her to restrain the others. To her, it simply is another child. To us, it is The Beast.”


Guide: Did she say the Secret Word?


Together: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Our vehicle enters a dirty New York City scene. We pass an audio-animatronic figure of a frightened Kevin McCallister. He asks for our help pointing out Harry and Marv to police. They shine their spotlight on them thanks to our pointing and announce over a megaphone to freeze because they’re under arrest.

Pee-Wee: IT’S MY BIKE!!

Pee-Wee runs into the scene and is reunited with his bike at last.


I am so sorry for this Paint Faux-toshop.

How’s that for a happy ending, folks? Looks like we saved the day!

“Clair de Lune” is playing on a piano as we come upon the next scene…

We now enter the Penmark home, the setting of 1956’s The Bad Seed.

Bad Seed

I just want a Rhoda AA reeeeal baaaad.

We hear a tea kettle whistling as we move to the next scene.

Uh, excuse me… Is anyone here? The water’s boiling…

Mrs Doubtfire


Oh!! Why, it’s Robin Williams in Mrs. Doubtfire! Dude looks like a lady! Don’t forget to ride Rock n Roller Coaster!

The next scene is from Titanic, when Rose dies and finds herself on the Titanic once more.



JACK! I’ll never let go… Or maybe I will.

And finally, we hear triumphant music as we see on our right…

bigwWhy, it’s the BIG DOUBLE YOU!



The entire cast is on our right.


Milton Berle: Will ya SHUT UP? (to Guide) You’ve seen the Big W?

Guide: Well, yes! It’s….

The Guide is cut off as the entire cast starts squabbling. We pass Johnathan Winters as he finally sees…


“That’s it! Sure! LOOK!”

Well, I hope you’ve enjoyed this tour through some of the greatest movie moments. But we’ve only scratched the surface of movies that Annie loves. Here are even more of her favorite films…

And we end with a montage of even more of my favorites, including Groundhog Day (“What if there is no tomorrow? There wasn’t one today!”), My Girl (“Ode to ice cream, by Vada Sultenfuss.”) and The Neverending Story (“FALCOOOOOOR!”).

So next time I go to Disney World, I’ll bring an umbrella.

Ok, that’s not my real ending. I just said aloud, “So next time I go to Disney World…” and Wes filled in the rest. And I was amused so I typed it. Get off my back already. What I really wanted to say was that next time I go to Disney World, hopefully I’ll ride next to an Imagineer on a ride and they’ll take their Imagineer wand and tap me on the nose and I’ll get to ignore this whole Intellectual Property thing and make THE CLARF MOVIE RIDE!!

And there was much rejoicing.

On behalf of Disney’s Hollywood Studios, I’d like to thank you for reading. Now, before we wrap this blog, we have one more scene. It’s called… THE EXIT! BITCHES! YOLO!


One Response to “The Clarf Movie Ride”

  1. Beefy Muchacho November 12, 2013 at 8:43 am #

    My dislike for Titanic notwithstanding, this would definitely be an enjoyable ride. Maybe not the most iconic movies, but they do evoke a certain feel overall that would be lots of fun. I especially love the BIG DOUBLEYA.

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